justbadpuns:

There was once this circus performer who could eat anything, and would do so for his act. His best trick was when he would eat several pillows and pillowcases, a comforter, a fitted sheet, a regular sheet, and a mattress all in one sitting. Unfortunately, he couldn’t preform the stunt often as the immense amount of fiber would block him up for nearly a month. After about three weeks of painful constipation, though, his body would dump everything at once simultaneously, so he would always shit the bed.

spicy-vagina-tacos:

I’m straight up unfollowing anyone who reblogs do you love the color of the sky. I am a veteran on this hell site. I do not want to see that god forsaken post any more. It is twenty sixteen

chinon:

name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it….i’ll wait